honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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