He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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