I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
