the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
