You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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