K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
