For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
