i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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