They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My ass is underappreciated
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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