i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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