I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
