a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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