Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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