The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
