Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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