I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
