You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
