I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
