I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
