u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
