I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
