I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
