Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
