fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
