Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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