We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
