The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
