I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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