TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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