and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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