perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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