I cannot find my penis.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
