If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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