omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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