This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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