omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
