Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
