this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
