dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think my tv is drunk
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
