So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
