There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
