I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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