Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
jump out the window naked night went bad
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