just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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