It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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