i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
