so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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