as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I party with great urgency now.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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