My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
