Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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